Thursday, August 13
Reflection: I’m living this week’s topic in real time.
If I’m being honest, I’m usually pretty good at giving other people grace and forgiving them when things go wrong. But when it comes to myself? I struggle. When guilt and shame creep in, I instantly become my own worst critic. I beat myself up, I punish myself before anyone else even has the chance to, and I even tell the story in a way that makes me sound guilty.
Here’s what happened: A week ago, we found out my dog has a partially torn CCL (the canine equivalent of a human ACL tear). The vet prescribed rest, pain meds, and very slow walks. Fast forward to this past Tuesday - we were outside, and the mosquitoes were absolutely eating us alive. Without thinking, I tossed a treat into the yard away from the bugs to get us moving, and she sprinted after it (while on leash). She ended up re-straining her leg, and now she’s limping worse than she was a week ago.
The wave of guilt and shame that washed over me was intense. I held onto this suffering for 24 hours.
But yesterday, I finally decided that enough is enough. If I forgive others so easily, why can’t I forgive myself? What’s up with that?
I didn’t mean for my dog to get hurt. I am an incredibly loving, attentive dog mom, and it’s not my fault her joint was injured in the first place. Life happens. Things go sideways, and not every moment is going to be handled perfectly.
Learning to forgive ourselves can be hard, but it’s crucial. I honestly didn’t realize how quickly I default to self-sabotage and negative self-talk. At first, forgiving myself felt like I was just "letting myself off the hook." But staying trapped in feeling terrible doesn't fix anything, and it certainly doesn't help anyone heal – human or pet.
It made me think about how often we carry this heavy burden in our childless journeys. How often do we blame ourselves? We tell ourselves stories like: I didn’t try hard enough. I stopped IVF too soon. I didn’t eat the right foods. I wasn’t good enough to deserve this. We treat ourselves with a level of harshness we would never, ever show to a friend.
So if you’re carrying a heavy narrative today, whether it’s about your journey, your body, or just a messy moment in your daily life, I hope you can pause and offer yourself a little bit of that forgiveness that you so freely give to everyone else. -Caroline Bloss
Subscriber Spotlight:
Self Care Tip: Today, take 5 minutes and go somewhere quiet, place your hand over your heart, and tell yourself: “I forgive you. It’s okay.” If discomfort comes up, that’s completely normal - try not to rush past it. These heavy feelings have just been waiting for your attention. Giving them the space to exist is what allows them to finally release, making room for you to move forward.
