Thursday, August 6
Reflection: I think of this quote every day when I step outside to visit my flowers. This spring, a black walnut tree planted itself in one of the containers where I typically grow peppers and herbs. My neighbors told me that black walnut wood is expensive and highly sought after. To be clear, this tree is currently about six inches tall, with six tiny stems.
I researched how some Indigenous nations historically used black walnut bark and roots to create a rich brown dye. I also learned that the tree has been associated with fertility and prosperity. I laughed when I learned that. Fertility? Okay, sure. The universe has a funny way of reminding us that fertility comes in many forms.
I began thinking about how I could support this tree. I did not plant its seed. Perhaps a bird or squirrel did. I may not be around long enough to watch it produce its famous black walnuts or see its trunk grow wide. Nevertheless, it could become part of my legacy.
I chose to watch over it. I gave it a place to grow. Maybe one day my nieces will sit beneath it and think of me. Maybe I will ask for my ashes to be buried under it.
I cannot predict the future, but this little tree made me think about my legacy and the footprint I will leave on this earth as a woman without children. Perhaps part of that legacy will be represented by this one seed that decided to grow unexpectedly one spring day.
When I first saw it, I thought it was a weed. I almost pulled it out, but I paused. Perhaps this was the sign I needed.
Just because I cannot grow life inside my body does not mean I am not actively nurturing life, and creating a legacy outside of it. I see this tree as a gift from Mother Nature and from the creatures that visit my garden, carrying seeds among the flowers I have intentionally planted.
My legacy, and yours, can continue without children, even when we deeply wanted them and know we would have been really good mothers.
The relationships we choose to cultivate as a result of not having children matter. Our relationships with other people, pets, plants, and the living world around us matter.
Your impact on this earth matters.
It requires us to slow down, pay attention, and ask: Is this a seed or a weed? Let’s remain curious about what we are nurturing. Let’s give ourselves credit for everything we care for outside of ourselves. Perhaps healing begins when we finally recognize how much life we have been tending all along. -Adriana Rodriguez-Baptiste
Subscriber Spotlight:
Self Care Tip: Take five quiet minutes outside or near a window. Look for one living thing—a plant, tree, pet, or person—that has grown because of your care, attention, or presence.
Ask yourself: What am I nurturing that I may not be giving myself credit for? Write down one answer. Let it be evidence that your care has impact, even when growth is slow or difficult to see.
