Thursday, July 09
Reflection: When I think of being deliberate in choosing to show up as I am, I am honoring the girl who was told her body was not like other women’s bodies. I am respecting her today in a way I couldn’t when I first found out I was going through premature ovarian failure at 33.
I remember blinking the tears out of my eyes in the doctor’s office so I could see him clearly. I didn’t have the words then that I have now. I owe it to that version of myself to use them.
I am no longer afraid to talk about something that felt taboo back then. Now, it seems like everyone is finally talking about menopause. I will not lie: these conversations make me feel resentful. What the hell took so long for us to talk about something that half the population will experience for the last third of their lives? Unfortunately, for me, it happened in the first third of mine.
I am deliberately telling you about my resentment because, for far too long, women have kept quiet about their health, their grief, and their bodies. I am no longer afraid to say: What the hell took so long?
And I am deliberately saying to my body every day, “I love you, and forgive me for taking so long to say those words to you.”
She is the only body I have. The body you have is the only one you will ever have. What is it going to take for you to finally love on her? Please learn from me. Don’t wait 12 years to find those words. You and your body deserve to hear them now.
-Adriana Rodriguez-Baptiste
Subscriber Spotlight:
Self Care Tip: When you notice yourself becoming activated, walking past a playground, seeing children on your street, or going to a doctor’s appointment, notice where you feel it in your body.
That part of you may be saying: I feel pain. I feel hurt. This is not fair.
Place your hand there. Massage it. Offer it warmth or comfort. Say, “I love you.” You don’t need your body to respond in any particular way. Simply witness what is there. Let that bring you back to the present moment and remind you: I am safe. I am okay. I am not in trouble. You have a whole life ahead of you, and your body will carry you through all of it. She deserves your love just as much as anyone else in your life.
