Thursday, March 25
Reflection: Recently, I saved a picture of myself at five years old as my screensaver. There’s nothing particularly cute about it. I’m just standing in my grandmother’s backyard, hands on my hips, giving the same look I still give when someone asks what I’m up to. No birthday, no special moment, just me.
Every morning, that little face greets me alongside the time and date, quietly reminding me that a long time ago, I was her and I find myself wondering who she needed back then. Maybe she needed a big sister to guide her? Maybe she needed answers? Maybe she needed someone to tell her it was okay to put down the dolls, to get dirty, to go into grandpa’s garden instead?
This kind of inner child work is something I don’t get to practice through motherhood. I don’t get to “redo” what I experienced or rewrite the past through raising someone else. I can’t make their wrongs right in that way. I think that’s one of the losses we don’t talk about enough, the absence of a space to practice the kind of parent you would have been. But what I’m learning is this: that part of me still needs parenting and she still needs safety.
Every morning, I look at her and I say, “You’re strong, you’re brave, I believe in you. Your future is bright. You’re not in trouble. I’m here to protect you. You don’t have to worry anymore. I’ve got you.” -Adriana Rodriguez-Bapiste
Subscriber Spotlight:
Self Care Tip: Set a childhood photo of yourself as your screensaver and each morning greet her, remind her she’s safe, she’s not in trouble, and you’ve got her now.
