Thursday, September 24
Reflection: When we take time to rest, we can be met with a wave of uncomfortable feelings like guilt, a sense of wasted time, or the nagging thought that we are being unproductive or lazy. But in truth, rest is the very foundation that allows us to engage with all other parts of life with presence and vitality.
I’ve always been someone who can’t take afternoon naps, who feels guilty for pausing, and whose body often feels in too much of a heightened state to truly relax. I used to plan to rest only when sleeping or on vacation. But rest is so much more than temporarily stopping the hamster wheel. It’s listening to our bodies when we are exhausted. It’s giving ourselves permission and space to simply be, rather than constantly do.
We’ve been taught to be productive little worker bees from a very early age, however the truth is that success and hard work do not necessarily go hand in hand. Sometimes, we heal and find true fulfillment not through effort, but through our consciousness, through our state of being.
There can be an addictive quality to stress, and for some of us navigating childlessness, "doing" becomes a powerful mechanism of survival. When living with disenfranchised grief, the urge to stay busy is often a protective shield. Staying on the go keeps us distracted from the ache of an unchosen path, allowing us to outrun the painful questions, the societal triggers, and the void of an empty house. As a result, we might overwork, try to make everything perfect, or be constantly available for others. We stay in a heightened state because relaxing feels like opening the door to the grief that we’ve worked so hard to contain.
For those navigating childlessness, intentional rest is an essential, transformative act of healing. Taking time to rest signals safety to a nervous system that’s in a frequent state of fight-or-flight, letting your body know there is no pain to outrun or prove wrong. It slows you down enough to give your grief a safe space to be felt and integrated, because true emotional healing can never be rushed or achieved through hustle. - Caroline Bloss
Subscriber Spotlight:
Self Care Tip: If taking an hour to nap or lie down feels overwhelming or makes your anxiety spike, scale it way back. Try taking a 2-minute stillness break. Sit comfortably, drop your shoulders away from your ears, place one hand on your chest or belly, and simply take five slow, intentional breaths. Giving your nervous system micro-doses of rest proves to your body that stopping the stress is safe.
